20040505
You'd be surprised how much you can learn about someone by living with them. Perhaps some of you allready know what I mean- but it is ultimately clear to me that being friends with someone and living with them are completely seperate entities.
For instance, James S, one of my current roomates. Before moving in with him, I believed him to be cool- generally sarcastic, a person who loved to joke about getting his way. Imagine my surprise when I learned he really is that selfish. Perhaps I should have noticed when he flipped out and yelled during settlers. Perhaps when he screamed with rage at losing during bridge.
James is the single-most self serving, selfish, and, in most ways, childish person I know. on a very simple level, he never grew beyond that of a two-year old. He is used to getting what he wants, when he wants it. If you deny him something, or suggest that some other game (besides the one he wants played) is played, he throws a full blown child's tantrum. it is truly impressive to see a twenty-one year-old young man throw a tantrum worthy of a self-righteous two-year old.
I have never been able to stand that kind of person well- ever. I didn't stand it when that person was Pamela, and I don't stand it when that person is James. Unfortunately, this means that more conflict than perhaps is neccesary arises, because instead of doing JAMES' way, I suggest that we find a compromise. and he gets pissed. OR- a prime example- last night James was studying for finals. I can get to be a loud person- and the TV was on, and so was the dryer- and James was studying. well, good old James comes out and specifically tells us to take the movie to the dorms to watch it. of course this is a movie on the tv, and it's ten minutes from the end, so we'd miss it. I say, "James, I understand you're studying, and we'll quiet down."
James replies with a classic arrogant and "always right" statement saying, "No, Erik, you won't."
Now- the problem with this is that I do quiet down for James. Nikki thinks perhaps I should not, and some times I definitely feel like slashing his tires.
We riposte back and forth with "Yes-I-wills" and "No-you-won'ts" and I finally say, "Fine, James. I won't quiet down for you. in fact, I'll get louder." he looks stunned that anyone would actually NOT leave their own APARTMENT for em>him, screams "I fucking hate--- I fuc--FUCK YOU ERIK!!!!" at which point everyone in the family room is reduced to silence as James storms out in an anger again worthy of either a very selfish and always-right college kid, or perhaps a two-year old. We DID quiet down- Nikki nearly walked out she was so angry- and I had to run and get her to keep her from walking home... On the way back towards the apartment, who should we see walking towards his car in a rage besides JAMES. I'm sure he was VERY upset that he didn't get to tell me how LOUD I was being out in the family room- I'm sure he was upset that I wasn't even there and thus NOT any noise.
Well, that's too bad for james. I was furious enough at this point that I couldn't resist saying "Didn't quiet down enough for you, James???" of course, he didn't answer. Nikki said something I don't remember, and James sped off.
Now, where this the ONLY time that something like this had happened, I would have been slightly more understanding of James. Yes, he does have finals. and YES, he is studying for them. However, James frequently makes it clear that this is HIS apartment, and damned if I'm actually NOT paying the rent to live here!
The kitchen? NOPE! not anyone elses kitchen. Shit, Erik! did ou leave your coffee maker out on the counter so you could make coffee whenever you wanted? DAMN! I'm gonna have to scream about that. Shit Erik, do you clean the kitchen at night after I've gone to bed? THanks for doing the dishes you JACKASS, but you left a fucking paper towel on the counter! SCREW the fact that my chicken linguini sat on the stove all night- THIS Kitchen has to be clean- and YOU erik are the contsant source of all its messes!
It's things like this- life experiences- that make me hate things, and yet feel so invigorated and alive.
HOPEFULLY next semester with Nikki, Amanda, and Wes- hopefully that won't be as bad. one can hope.
For instance, James S, one of my current roomates. Before moving in with him, I believed him to be cool- generally sarcastic, a person who loved to joke about getting his way. Imagine my surprise when I learned he really is that selfish. Perhaps I should have noticed when he flipped out and yelled during settlers. Perhaps when he screamed with rage at losing during bridge.
James is the single-most self serving, selfish, and, in most ways, childish person I know. on a very simple level, he never grew beyond that of a two-year old. He is used to getting what he wants, when he wants it. If you deny him something, or suggest that some other game (besides the one he wants played) is played, he throws a full blown child's tantrum. it is truly impressive to see a twenty-one year-old young man throw a tantrum worthy of a self-righteous two-year old.
I have never been able to stand that kind of person well- ever. I didn't stand it when that person was Pamela, and I don't stand it when that person is James. Unfortunately, this means that more conflict than perhaps is neccesary arises, because instead of doing JAMES' way, I suggest that we find a compromise. and he gets pissed. OR- a prime example- last night James was studying for finals. I can get to be a loud person- and the TV was on, and so was the dryer- and James was studying. well, good old James comes out and specifically tells us to take the movie to the dorms to watch it. of course this is a movie on the tv, and it's ten minutes from the end, so we'd miss it. I say, "James, I understand you're studying, and we'll quiet down."
James replies with a classic arrogant and "always right" statement saying, "No, Erik, you won't."
Now- the problem with this is that I do quiet down for James. Nikki thinks perhaps I should not, and some times I definitely feel like slashing his tires.
We riposte back and forth with "Yes-I-wills" and "No-you-won'ts" and I finally say, "Fine, James. I won't quiet down for you. in fact, I'll get louder." he looks stunned that anyone would actually NOT leave their own APARTMENT for em>him, screams "I fucking hate--- I fuc--FUCK YOU ERIK!!!!" at which point everyone in the family room is reduced to silence as James storms out in an anger again worthy of either a very selfish and always-right college kid, or perhaps a two-year old. We DID quiet down- Nikki nearly walked out she was so angry- and I had to run and get her to keep her from walking home... On the way back towards the apartment, who should we see walking towards his car in a rage besides JAMES. I'm sure he was VERY upset that he didn't get to tell me how LOUD I was being out in the family room- I'm sure he was upset that I wasn't even there and thus NOT any noise.
Well, that's too bad for james. I was furious enough at this point that I couldn't resist saying "Didn't quiet down enough for you, James???" of course, he didn't answer. Nikki said something I don't remember, and James sped off.
Now, where this the ONLY time that something like this had happened, I would have been slightly more understanding of James. Yes, he does have finals. and YES, he is studying for them. However, James frequently makes it clear that this is HIS apartment, and damned if I'm actually NOT paying the rent to live here!
The kitchen? NOPE! not anyone elses kitchen. Shit, Erik! did ou leave your coffee maker out on the counter so you could make coffee whenever you wanted? DAMN! I'm gonna have to scream about that. Shit Erik, do you clean the kitchen at night after I've gone to bed? THanks for doing the dishes you JACKASS, but you left a fucking paper towel on the counter! SCREW the fact that my chicken linguini sat on the stove all night- THIS Kitchen has to be clean- and YOU erik are the contsant source of all its messes!
It's things like this- life experiences- that make me hate things, and yet feel so invigorated and alive.
HOPEFULLY next semester with Nikki, Amanda, and Wes- hopefully that won't be as bad. one can hope.
